cScott's Babylon 5 Parodies

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Episode 504: "Let Paragons be Paragons"

At the first Council meeting for the Alliance, everyone yells and screams a lot and nothing gets accomplished, so they decide that they're officially a Government now. Everyone has agreed on the colours for the Alliance flag, except the Drazi, who can't decide between purple and green. After the meeting, Garibaldi complains about the script and suggests that Sheridan beat up the Drazi representative and then send him flowers, and maybe some chocolates.

Meanwhile, on a distant planet, a group of aliens are frightened and upset, because their planet's being bombed and the pizza delivery guy is late. He finally shows up, but instead of the pizza delivery guy, it is a Ranger. So, the aliens decide to send him to Babylon 5 with a message asking the Alliance to send help... and pizza.

Garibaldi goes back to the Council room after the meeting and finds G'Kar discussing with Sheridan some changes he wants to make to the script. Geribaldi asks Sheridan if he can use a couple of telepaths to scan the station and find out which women like him, but Sheridan says that he'll have to ask Byron first, since he hasn't had any scenes in a while. G'Kar gets annoyed when Londo complains about some of the dialogue in the second act.

Garibaldi goes looking for Byron, but all of the telepaths are busy reading Nietszche and doing Performance Art, so they just ignore him. Finally, Byron show up and answers all of Garibaldi's questions before he asks them, which saves time, but annoys Garibaldi, especially since all of the answers are "No".

Just then, the dying Ranger arrives to give them the aliens' message, but he can't because he's in a coma. So, Delenn has Lyta scan the Ranger to find out whether or not they want anchovies. Lyta flashes back to the episode teaser and manages to get the aliens' address before the Ranger dies.

Delenn explains the aliens' situation to Sheridan. He agrees that the Alliance has to help, but isn't sure how many orders of breadsticks to send. After doing a quick Londo impression, he decides to send them a Family Pack. He goes to talk to the Drazi representative, who offers to bring soda, if Sheridan will wait for him to go get some change.

Garibaldi wants Lyta to talk to Byron for him, but she just wants to talk about what a bad day she had and go on about how her old boss wasn't "all there".

Meanwhile, G'Kar is still struggling with some of the characterisations in the second scene.

Sheridan finds that he can't sleep, even though it's "horizontal" night, so he gets up to answer the door bell, but there's nobody there. He's sure it must be those darned kids again, but notices they left him a scroll. Delenn wakes up and wants to hear a bedtime story, so he reads the scroll to her, while G'Kar wanders down the halls mumbling to himself.

Lyta goes to see Byron. He orders her around, knocks over some furniture and begins quoting Shakespeare, so she decides that it must be a date. He eventually agrees to let two telepaths work with Garibaldi, but only to prove to her that nobody has the right to order telepaths around except him.

Lyta tells Sheridan that Byron warned her that the Drazi are planning to eat all of the pizza and not save any for the aliens. Sheridan tells Garibaldi not to stop by the Drazi's house. He thanks Lyta, but doesn't offer her any pizza.

The aliens are really excited when hundreds of Rangers show up with really hot pizza and stop the bombing.

Sheridan wakes everybody up so they can watch videos, but the Drazi representative doesn't want to stay, so they let him call his parents to come and get him. Lyta drops by, but she's already seen the video and there's no pizza left, so she leaves.

G'Kar wants to get the copies of the script back from all of the cast, because he suddenly remembered that he forgot about Lochley. Unfortunately, it's too late because they've already wrapped production.

Lyta goes back to see Byron, and he takes her up to his room to see his etchings.

Next Episode...

Episode 505: "A View from the Peanut Gallery"

in which Lochley shows up for an episode, and hires a couple of construction workers to keep the station running during an alien attack.

Previous Episode...

Episode 503: "The Very Spicy Flarn of Londo Mollari"

in which Londo gets a bad case of heartburn and spends the entire night afraid that G'Kar might decide to keep him company and read to him.

cScott's Babylon 5 Parodies and the contents of this page are copyright 1998-2001 C. Scott Davis

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Babylon 5, characters, names, and all related indicia are trademarks of Time Warner Entertainment Co., LP. 1997 Time Warner Entertainment Co., LP.