cScott's Babylon 5 Parodies


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"I Am The Very Model of a Maudlin Martyr Telepath"

from the all-telepath production of "The Pirates of Penzance"

to the tune of "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General" by Gilbert and Sullivan

BYRON: 
   I am the very model of a maudlin martyr telepath,
   I've information that will prove that Bester is a psychopath,
   My followers took secrets from the alien ambassadors,
   From Drazi to the Pak'Ma'Ra, now most of them are after us;
   I'm very well acquainted, too, with quotes that are Shakespearical,
   But to avoid this tragedy, now that would take a miracle,
   I realise our chances for success are likely very thin,
   But even so, I went ahead and took our case to Sheridan.

TELEPATHS: 
   But even so, he went ahead and took our case to Sheridan.
   But even so, he went ahead and took our case to Sheridan.
   But even so, he went ahead and took our case to Sheridan.

BYRON: 
   I'm glad that Lyta's by my side, it really means a lot to me,
   But Bester, given half a chance, would give her a lobotomy.
   In short, I know that I can prove that Bester is a psychopath,
   I am the very model of a maudlin martyr telepath,

TELEPATHS: 
   In short, he knows that he can prove that Bester is a psychopath,
   He is the very model of a maudlin martyr telepath,

BYRON: 
   I know about our history, the Vorlons and the Shadow war;
   From Lyta's mind I've learned exactly what we were created for,
   And of Covert Intelligence, we'll even take a stab at that,
   And in return we only want a planetary habitat;
   My followers are telepaths, both gothic and emotional,
   From time to time you might have heard us singing a devotional!
   And though my sense of humour's overshadowed by life's trajedies,
   Upon occasion I have even read those silly parodies.

TELEPATHS: 
   Upon occasion he has even read those silly parodies.
   Upon occasion he has even read those silly parodies.
   Upon occasion he has even read those silly parodies.

BYRON: 
   I used to work with Bester, though it saddens that I must inform,
   You wouldn't think it now, I even wore a Psi-Cop's uniform:
   In short, I know that I can prove that Bester is a psychopath,
   I am the very model of a maudlin martyr telepath,

TELEPATHS: 
   In short, he knows that he can prove that Bester is a psychopath,
   He is the very model of a maudlin martyr telepath,

BYRON:
   I've tried to get my followers to keep a peaceful attitude,
   But with my teachings, there are some who take a bit of latitude, 
   I realise, there's little chance for answers now adjutical,
   We must re-join the Corps or face solutions pharmaceutical,
   To end the hostage crisis, I have killed another telepath,
   "REMEMBER BYRON" might turn out to be my final epitaph--
   In short, I think it probable that this will be the death of me,
   But in the end, you'd think instead, we could have used an effigy.
 
TELEPATHS: 
   But in the end, you'd think instead, we could have used an effigy.
   But in the end, you'd think instead, we could have used an effigy.
   But in the end, you'd think instead, we could have used an effigy.

BYRON:
   Once I destroyed a transport, because Bester I would not defy,
   He said that they were just mundanes, like that would somehow justify,
   But still, I know that I can prove that Bester is a psychopath,
   I am the very model of a maudlin martyr telepath,

TELEPATHS: 
   But still, he knows that he can prove that Bester is a psychopath,
   He is the very model of a maudlin martyr telepath,


from Episode 512: "Manics Rising"


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