cScott's Babylon 5 Parodies


Index of Episode Parodies Episode 507: Strained Relations Episode 511: La Dia De Morden Newest Episode Sci-Fi's Babylon 5 Site The Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5 The Babylon 5 Spoiler Junkie's Page Frequently Asked Questions Send E-Mail to cScott

Episode 508: "Secrets of the Spoo"

Dr. Franklin has started recording his journal on the computer, because he's heard that Garibaldi has been reading everyone's diaries. He's discovered a lot of new recipes lately, unfortunately one of them was for some kind of casserole that the Pak'Ma'Ra eat, and it has a really foul lingering aftertaste.

In Customs, Zack is confronting a new group of people who have just arrived. He decides that they must be telepaths, because they're wearing black and they don't have any money. Byron shows up and asks Zack a riddle. Zack can't answer, so the telepaths get to stay. Byron promises to show Zack their ID's, just as soon as the ink's dry.

One of the new telepaths is a young man named Peter. We immediately feel so sympathetic toward him, that it's a pretty sure bet that he's going to die... or at least get badly beaten up. All of the new telepaths hug Byron but he doesn't sing to them.

Zack asks Lyta what she's doing hanging around with a bunch of telepaths, so she finally has to admit to him that she's a telepath too, which probably explains all of the games of rock-paper-scissors that she's won. Zack wants Lyta to stop seeing Byron, but she says he's just jealous, so he asks her for five minutes so he can think up a good excuse, but she says she can't because she's promised to go with Byron to Hell and back and she hasn't even packed yet. Zack considers asking her if she wants to see his tattoo, but changes his mind and says nothing instead.

As Byron and the new telepaths are walking through the station, they're confronted by another nameless thug with a gang. The thug says he's tired of seeing the teeps acting as if they're better than everyone else, so one of the telepaths offers to poke him in the eyes so he won't have to, but Byron says he'd rather get beaten up than have the scene turn silly, so the thug agrees and hits him. After Byron says "Thank you Sir, may I have another." a couple of times, he starts counting. Once he gets up to six, the thug becomes confused by Byron's clever grasp of highter mathmatics and lets them go.

Meanwhile, Dr. Franklin asks the Hyach ambassador, Tal, and her assistant about a Spoo recipe that he's found several references to. After he promises them that he would die before he'd let anyone know about their secret herbs and spices, they promise to give him the recipe.

Lyta asks Byron why none of the other telepaths are taking care of him. He says it's because he wants to be alone, so she decides to stay and help him. When she asks him why he didn't let the telepaths fight back, he says it's because the mundanes don't understand the importance of basic math. When he starts discussing construction techniques, Lyta gets angry, so he laughs at her and says he doesn't know what to do with her. She decides to show him by kissing him, but he takes her into the other room so that all of the telepaths can hug her instead.

Dr. Franklin has prepared several batches of Spoo using the Hyach recipe, but none of them turn out right so he asks Ambassador Tal's assistant, Kirrin, if the recipe lists all of the ingredients. She gets upset and leaves, and Dr. Franklin searches the computer for clues to the missing ingredient.

The telepaths are going home after shopping with some money they found in Lyta's purse, but Peter decides to stay behind so he can get beaten up like Byron did.

Later, Lyta and Byron are in MedLab watching the doctors treat Peter's injuries. Byron tells Lyta that he's afraid that the telepaths may have seen the episode about the Rangers, and try their own Mora'Dum. Suddenly Peter starts throwing things across the room using telekinesis, but Dr. Franklin leaves his team to clean up, because he's got to go baste the Spoo.

The telepaths chase one of the thugs down a hallway, sending him mental images of their drug flashbacks. Byron shows up with Lyta and makes them stop, so Zack shows up with Security and arrests him.

While searching the computer records of other races, Dr. Franklin discovers that the Hyach have stolen a plot device from an earlier episode about the Centauri. As he's leaving MedLab with a copy of the script, Kirrin sneaks up behind him with a gun and takes the pages from him, but he tells her that it's too late because the episode is already in re-runs.

When Ambassador Tal arrives, Dr. Franklin explains to her that he knows her real secret. He knows why their Spoo recipe was such a secret, and why his ingredient list is incomplete. She insists that he could help them find an alternate ingredient, but he says that he can't unless they admit the truth. Their secret ingredient ran out 1200 years ago, when the last of the Hyach-Doh died because, Dr. Franklin tells her, "Hyach Spoo is people!"

Meanwhile, Byron is brought into Zack's office. Zack is angry because the thug who was attacked says that Byron tried to save him, but the thug who beat up Peter was found dead and, no matter how hard he tries, Zack can't think of any way to charge Byron for it, since he was locked up. Byron tells Zack that they'd have one less dead body if he hadn't been locked up, because he would've been able to dispose of it before it was found.

Byron is really upset because the telepaths killed the thug before Byron could teach him about multiplication tables. Lyta talks to him and tries to make him feel better, but he just keeps blaming himself, so she takes off her clothes to distract him.

Byron is suitably distracted, but Lyta warns him that since she's been with a Vorlon, she may be too hot to handle. Byron decides he's willing to take the risk, and they begin to make love. Just as Byron starts thinking about baseball scores, he is interrupted by flashes from Lyta's mind about her experiences with the Vorlons over the past couple of seasons.

Not only is Byron shocked by the images, but so are the other telepaths, who had been mentally evesdropping on their lovemaking.

Later, Byron is angry at the Vorlons, paritally for creating telepaths, but mostly for ruining the mood. Lyta points out that the Vorlons are all gone, but Byron says that's no excuse, that as long as there are other races left in the galaxy there will be someone to blame.

Byron is going to bring the case before the Alliance, and try to convince them to give the telepaths a planet. He insists that they deserve to have a place where they can make love, free of disturbing images of people floating in tanks, and as the camera zooms in on his face, he tells Lyta that he was especially creeped out by that black pupil thing she did with her eyes, and asks her not to do it again.


Next Episode...

Episode 511: "La Dia De Morden"

in which Penn and Teller visit Babylon 5 to warn Sheridan about the episode's mysterious author and some guest stars from past episodes return during an alien Mardi Gras.


Previous Episode...

Episode 507: "Strained Relations"

in which Bester embarasses Byron in front of the other telepaths, Garibaldi and Lochley fight some more, and Delenn puts Londo and G'Kar on the "buddy" system.


cScott's Babylon 5 Parodies and the contents of this page are copyright 1998-2001 C. Scott Davis

Images graciously provided by the Spoiler Junkies Page

Babylon 5, characters, names, and all related indicia are trademarks of Time Warner Entertainment Co., LP. 1997 Time Warner Entertainment Co., LP.