cScott's Babylon 5 Parodies


Index of Episode Parodies Episode 506: When a Ranger Calls Episode 508: Secrets of the Spoo Newest Episode Sci-Fi's Babylon 5 Site The Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5 The Babylon 5 Spoiler Junkie's Page Frequently Asked Questions Send E-Mail to cScott

Episode 507: "Strained Relations"

Delenn is talking to Lochley about why Sheridan hired her and asks her if she's the one who keeps calling and hanging up when Delenn answers the phone. Lochley admits that Sheridan didn't hire her just because of her work on "Lois and Clark" and "Highlander", but denies making the phone calls. Delenn reminds Lochley that Sheridan was willing to blow up his other wife's planet just because Delenn asked him to, so she'd better watch out. Lochley asks Delenn to keep all of this a secret, so Delenn agrees to keep it just between the two of them and Garabaldi, who's hiding around the corner.

Zack tells Londo that his ride is here, but Londo doesn't want to go home because he thinks everything is about to start going wrong on Babylon 5 and he doesn't want to miss it. Zack reminds Londo that he'll soon be the emperor, but Londo says that throughout history every emperor named Mollari has ended his reign by dying and he thinks that if he becomes emperor, he'll eventually die too.

Meanwhile, Corwin is trying to direct a transport into the docking bay, but the driver just calls him a backseat driver and steps on the gas, crashing into the bay doors and knocking over the neighbours' trash bins.

No matter how many times Lochley tells the clean-up crew that "Scotty could do it in 2 hours", they still insist that it will take 13, so she finally blackmails the crew chief with some naughty car-waxing picures she found during an illegal search of his locker and he promises to get it done in 11 hours instead.

Dr. Franklin catches Lyta stealing drugs for the telepaths, but she says they're only having her steal so that they won't have to accept any handouts. Dr. Franklin is so confused that he lets her take the drugs.

Later, when she delivers the drugs to the telepaths, Lyta tries to get Byron to take some because she's afraid that he's not mellow enough, but he wants to save them all for the children. So, she tells him that he should at least get some sleep, but he decides to do an impression of a Vorlon instead, but Lyta can't decide whether to be disappointed by how bad it is, or relieved that he isn't quoting Shakespear again.

Elsewhere, Garibaldi is in the security office putting everything back to the way it used to be when he was Chief of Security, because for some reason Zack keeps rearranging things. Just then, a security officer shows up, because he has a secret to tell Zack. When Garibaldi asks him what the secret is, he says that he's not supposed to tell anyone, especially Garibaldi, that Bester just arrived, so he's sorry but he just can't say. Garibaldi has a flashback to last season and then charges down the hall looking for Bester.

Meanwhile, in Lochley's office, Bester has just asked her how many telepaths it takes to change a light bulb, when Garibaldi storms in. Since Lochley can't remember whether it's his turn to yell at her or her turn to yell at him, she punches him instead and has him thrown in the brig. She then apologises to Bester, but he says there's no apology needed and that she can feel free to beat up Garibaldi any time she likes.

In Medlab, Delenn and G'Kar stop by to talk to Dr. Franklin. G'Kar tells him that they don't feel that they've sufficiently set up plot points for the next episode, so they'd like for him to put together the definitive database of alien cuisine. Dr. Franklin is very excited at the prospect and points out that there is a particular lack of good spoo recipes.

Sheridan's in his office trying to look busy, when Lochley shows up. She can tell that Sheridan's angry, so she assumes that it must be his turn to yell at her. He yells at her for a while and then explains to her that it's because of what happened with Garibaldi. She replies that she would be glad to let Garibaldi go and refuse to let Bester have the telepaths, but that if she did, she'd have to shoot Sheridan first. So, Sheridan decides to just stay in his office instead and read some more reports until Lochley can come up with an alternative solution.

Outside the station, the Centauri ship notifies Babylon 5 that it's going to have to leave and that Londo will just have to catch another ride later. As soon as Corwin pushes the button to release control, the ship explodes.

Later, Zach tells Lochley that they've been able to determine that there was either a bomb on the ship, or else someone cross-wired the "Release Ship" button with the "Blow-up Ship" button on Corwin's console as a joke, but that he was pretty sure that it was a bomb, because they'd tried out the "Blow-up Ship" button on a Pak'Ma'Ra transport and it appeared to still be working correctly. While she's looking over his report, Zach suddenly realises that it was the same report that he'd written a note to himself on, reminding him not to tell Lochley that Garibaldi had read her diary, but before he can do anything, she notices it and decides that it's definitely her turn to yell at Garibaldi now.

Meanwhile, as Bester and his Psi-Cops search for the telepaths, they encounter Lyta, who tells them that she doesn't know where the telepaths are and that they're definitely not hiding in the room behind her. When one of the Psi-Cops tries to get past her, she slaps him, but instead of slapping him with her hand, she uses her mind instead because it's much more difficult. Bester decides that he doesn't want to get slapped so he takes the Psi-Cops and leaves, but promises to come back with a security force because he doesn't care if they get slapped or not.

After Bester leaves, Byron comes out of hiding long enough to kiss Lyta, but she doesn't slap him because she's too tired.

Lochley goes to the brig and yells at Garibaldi for a while. Then he yells at her and says he doesn't trust her. So, she yells at him and tells him to deal with it. So, then he yells at her some more and asks her why Sheridan picked her to be in charge of the station. Then, instead of yelling at him again, she tells him that she used to be married to Sheridan, and that he promised to let her run Babylon 5, if she would let him out of his alimony payments. After hearing that, Garibaldi decides that he does trust her now... only he's not too sure he trusts Sheridan any more.

By this time, Bester has captured all of the telepaths except Byron, who decides to surrender because there's nobody left to listen to his speeches.

In Delenn's quarters, she tells G'Kar about the bomb that was on Londo's ship, and asks him to be Londo's bodyguard so that if it happens again, they would both be killed. G'kar is so confused he agrees.

Just as Bester is about to leave, Lochley shows up and tells him that he can't take the telepaths yet, because they have to be quarantined for 60 days first. He's upset but she blames everything on Dr. Franklin so he tries to talk her into at least letting him take Byron, but goes into a lengthy explanation of all of the complicated medial regulations involved so Bester gets bored and leaves. Before leaving, though, he warns her that the telepaths are dangerous and reminds her that she's only contracted for 4 more episodes.

After Bester has gone, Lochley tells Zach to leave a key for the telepaths to find and then find out if there's any way she can extend her contract.

Later, the telepaths are filming a music video, when Lyta shows up. Byron tells her that they've decided that she can't join the band, but if she'll give him of her Psi-Corps pin, he'll let her be one of his groupies. So, she gives it to him, but doesn't tell him that it's just gold plated.

Lyrics to Telepath's first Music Video


Next Episode...

Episode 508: "Secrets of the Spoo"

in which Dr. Franklin learns an alien spoo recipe, the All-telepath Choir cuts a new album, and Lyta has a frightening encounter with some obsessed "Altered States" fans.


Previous Episode...

Episode 506: "When a Ranger Calls"

in which a new guy decides to take over the station by stealing some of Delenn's Rangers and she tries to make him give them back.


cScott's Babylon 5 Parodies and the contents of this page are copyright 1998-2001 C. Scott Davis

Images graciously provided by the Spoiler Junkies Page

Babylon 5, characters, names, and all related indicia are trademarks of Time Warner Entertainment Co., LP. 1997 Time Warner Entertainment Co., LP.